The Agenda

Dear Dunkin’ Donuts,

You know how every single hack stand up comic has a bit about how ridiculously overpriced Starbucks is? Oh, sure you do. It’s usually sandwiched in between the bit about how men and women use remote controls differently (“So true!”), and how white people can’t dance (“Oh no he di’int!”). Well, there are two things that comedians can’t mention, and they can’t mention them because it isn’t fucking funny. They can’t say that: a) Starbucks coffee (regular ol’ COFFEE) is cheaper than Dunkin’ Donuts coffee and b) Starbucks coffee is pretty decent, whereas Dunkin’ Donuts coffee tastes like a used colostomy bag.