LotsofNoise.com: The Musical
by Tanya Hardingcore
A musical debut depicting the epic struggle of good versus evil as played out in the Providence underground was penned and performed recently by the Lots of Noise Forum Players. The trials and tribulations of working within a rapidly gentrifying cityscape are told through a musical score written only by the group’s online forums. The storyline seemed loosely based on Rent, but instead of a ragtag group of New York bohemians struggling to express themselves through their art and by “measuring their lives in love,” it became a story about a ragtag group of Providence hardcore-noise-metalheads struggling to express themselves through their music and “finding a goddamn place to host a decent fucking music show.” Against the ever faster redevelopment of Providence’s Olneyville neighborhood, these forum posters strive for a space to call home (err… I mean, practice space), all while enduring the obstacles of poverty, post-Station fire codes and wealthy developers from Baltimore.
As remarkable as the production’s concept was the theater itself. Built out of entirely recycled materials, it was constructed in an abandoned vacant lot over the course of three weeks by participants of an intensive think tank project. From the exterior, it looks very much like an old, dilapidated mill building—crumbling bricks, broken windows, and half-hung doors. Upon entering, one was given complimentary earplugs and invited to sit in front of what appeared to be a very large computer screen. Its edges reached to the uppermost corners of the cavity, while all seating was located on a giant keyboard-like structure. I took my seat on “S” and wondered briefly who was controlling the mouse. The theater filled, the lights dimmed, and the comforting droning chime of an Apple computer booting up signaled the start of the show.
Then, with a crash, bang, and feedback-heavy howl, the 40-piece noise orchestra began its frenzied introductory overture. (Ahh—now I understand the earplugs—thanks guys.) Images of Olneyville past began to flash across the mega-screen, and the blocky, mascot-like avatars began to assemble themselves on the stage. The first act began with the advent of the LON forum, giving the audience a brief introduction to the Providence underground music scene and the some of the roles the headlining avatars play in it. But the plot quickly deepened as their way of life became threatened by city officials, fire inspectors, and shitty landlords (represented as shadowy figures behind the big screen, reminding me of Charlie Brown’s teacher in
Peanuts). Despite the valiant attempts of holding benefit shows and courtroom wrangling, the first half of the show culminated in the eviction of our Olneyville heroes and the condemnation of their former spaces. In the second half, the Olneyvillians are putting the pieces of their lives back together, but—oh no!—a different danger lurks ahead. On top of the ridiculous fire code ordinances, a new threat—the Providence Renaissance—is manifesting itself, and bringing with it promises of higher property values, an upper-middle class cultural whitewashing, and the commandeering of any and all available mill—I mean,
loft—spaces. Will our avatars be able to band together and create a legal and legitimate show space? Or will they be forced to relocate to Pawtucket (or worse, Williamsburg)? Or will their ambitions forever be confined to the message boards within LotsofNoise.com?
The central premise behind the musical was that the whole script (everything spoken, sung, screamed, or growled) was lifted directly from the Lots of Noise Forums pages, which are authored by anyone with an avatar and an agenda (personal agenda, mind you—not to be confused with the fine publication you are holding right now). One of the most passionately portrayed events in the show was the sudden inhumane eviction of the residents at Oak + Troy—they even brought the temperature in the theater down to a very chilly 10 degrees to simulate the conditions under which homelessness was being forced upon them. Also worthy of mention was a touching reminiscence between a few posters (none of whose member numbers ventured past double digits) recalling the days of Providence past, from the businesses that no longer exist to an homage to Larry, the Mayor of Fox Point—a passage that ends with timetogetcrackin’ fading off in a high, lingering falsetto, “The river still stinks to high heavennnn…”
Other notable performances included Ryan (as the LON overseer and ever-patient moderator), Rob (political protest poster extraordinaire), Gauze (though his banana-fucking avatar was so hilariously distracting that I don’t actually remember too much of what he had to say), and Anti.Magnet (whose avatar always descended as though an angel from above to bless the forum with her calming voice of reason and measure). Also worthy of mention is the LON Orchestra who, under the excellent direction of rraBett, played so loud and so hard that they were able to hit that sound frequency (foretold only in urban legend) in which the body is forced to lose control of its bowels. I hope I’m not giving too much away about the memorable ending, but needless to say, it had everyone in the audience shitting their pants—resulting in a standing ovation that was most whole-heartedly deserved.
