Humor
Jul 25, 09:12 PM (Issue #16)
Contributor: John Taraborelli
by John Taraborelli
My
fellow board members, I come before you today to silence the growing voices of
concern, speculation, rumor and innuendo. There has been much controversy
surrounding our fine institution as of late and much ballyhoo has been made of
the sudden, indefinite closure of the Dr. Timothy Leary Memorial XXXtreme
Monkey and Primate…
Jul 23, 04:43 PM (Issue #16)
Contributor: Evan Villari
The author continues his tradition of bizarre meditations on film
By Evan Villari
[Note: This article first appeared in The Agenda #16]
Cheat Sheet: An Eastern European family hires Evan to transfer some film to video. The film, from an orphanage in Russia, is of a little girl this family is thinking of…
Apr 4, 10:57 PM (Issue #19)
Contributor: Dan Verrier
By Dan Verrier
[This article first appeared in The Agenda #16, July/August 2006]
Hipness was around even before Lord Kelvin said “Now this is as cool as it gets,” and even just in the present day, there are any number of different definitions for it, depending on the clique being discussed. Analysis,…
Apr 4, 11:18 AM (Issue #14)
Contributor: John Taraborelli
by Saruman the White, Chief Scientific Policy Advisor to President Bush
[This article first appeared in The Agenda #14, January 2006]
Honestly, you people with your ridiculous “science.” Bah! When I bring agony and ruin upon your villages with the power of the One Ring, will the pathetic explanations of those blasphemous…
Feb 17, 09:17 PM (Issue #15)
Contributor: Eric Smith
by Eric Smith | photos by Rachel Silver
Money. Success. Respect. All overrated. Our peers in publishing will have you believe that they have a lock on what is “eligible,” or even “readable,” but we know otherwise. Let no other magazine tell you the measure of a man — but let…
Sep 22, 07:47 AM (Issue #17)
Contributor: Lee Berman
by: Lee
Berman
If you charged for mustache rides on a sliding
scale, what would be the criteria for that scale? -WP
How could I calculate anything out on a sliding scale?
Wouldn't it have to stay put long enough for me to figure out a rate? Is this a
sexual question? My father told me…
Sep 5, 02:09 PM (Issue #14)
Contributor: Jeremy Lansing
by Jeremy Lansing
[This article first appeared in The Agenda #14, January 2006]
Thirteen-year-old Jeremy Lansing was asked to resign from the staff of his middle school newspaper after attempting to print the following controversial interview. In the interest of defending the first amendment and promoting diversity, we here at The Agenda…
Sep 2, 08:34 AM (Issue #14)
Contributor: John Taraborelli
Three Ways To Lose An Argument
by John Taraborelli
[This article appeared in The Agenda #14, January 2006]
There are three all-purpose arguments in American public discourse that are so insipid, so hackneyed, so insulting to our intelligence, that anyone who invokes them cannot help but forsake their credibility. They are: the Nazi…
Sep 1, 05:42 PM (Issue #13)
Contributor: John Taraborelli
Contributor: Eric Smith
Point: My Band, The Jacobins, Slays with Unparalleled Heaviosity
by John Taraborelli
A lot of rock bands are into the music for the fame, the money, the women, the piles of free, pharmaceutical-grade coke—and I can understand that mentality. Those are the kinds of things they care about, but not the Jacobins;…
Sep 1, 02:01 PM (Issue #14)
Contributor: John Taraborelli
Contributor: Eric Smith
[This article first appeared in The Agenda #14, January 2006]
Point: Bruce Springsteen: The Emo Meatloaf
by Eric Smith
With the recent release of a Bruce Springsteen concert DVD shedding new light on his dim early ‘70s output and allowing hordes of rock scribes to wax ad infinitum on the staggering Boss-ness of…
