The Agenda

Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal may have just ruined his shot (however remote) at the vice presidency. While McCain could use a younger counterpart who appeals to the Christian Right, the electorate at large may not embrace someone who veers so far towards the shoulder on the concert of faith and public policy.

Jindal's vocal support of Intelligent Design is pitiable, but potentially toxic to McCain's bid for national approval. Especially when he frames his enthusiasm this way:

Lhude sing cuccu!

It's that time of year again when I start to fantasize about moving to Alaska (Weather Underground is forecasting highs in Anchorage today in the “upper 50s to mid 60s,” which is far more tolerable than the stinking sweating purgatory of Providence today). If you love summer as much as I do, the Rhode Island Department of Environmental Management wants you to know they feel your pain. If you need protection from the “unhealthy air quality” afflicting Southern New England like a divine punishment for something-or-other, head to the Da Vinci Center in the North End for some emergency shelter.

(As disgusting as this weather is, though, it's still no justification for closing public schools like those wimps in Pawtucket. Someone tell School Superintendent Hans W. Dellith to man the hell up.)

Don Mollis would like to remind youse that if you voted in one party's presidential primary (presumably the one that still counted by the time Rho Dylanders got our turn) and would like to vote in another party's primary in September (presumably the party that doesn't count in Rho Dyland), you need to do that thing with the stuff by June 11.

But, but Jef... we need more luxury condos.

For the first time in U.S. history, more than one of every 100 adults is in jail or prison, according to a new report documenting America's rank as the world's No. 1 incarcerator. It urges states to curtail corrections spending by placing fewer low-risk offenders behind bars.

“As voters prepare to cast their ballots to nominate their choice for the next President of the United States, I want to make sure they know exactly where to go to cast their ballot,” says Providence Mayor David Cicilline in a press release today. Providentians seem to have divested themselves of their well-reasoned cynicism regarding the incredible fiction of American democracy, and will be turning out in “record numbers” on March 4th to register their support of future President John McCain, one of two identical lying, pro-war Democrats, or one of many irrelevant also-rans.

In any case, if you have some time to waste next Tuesday, you should go to the Rhode Island Voter Information Center website to find out the location of your local polling place (pictured, left). Note that your polling place for the primary election may be different from your usual November location, so it's a good idea to check, to ensure you can maintain the illusion of having your voice heard.

Clear Channel has been bought for $19.5B ($39.20/share) by 'a private equity group' led by Bain Capital and Thomas H. Lee Partners.

Bain Capital was founded in Boston in 1984 by three partners, including Mitt Romney, who were all also partners in Bain & Co. consulting. Romney was also Massachusetts governor at the time.

C'est tres triste, le foundeur de "franglaise," l'homme Britaine (pas d'etre confusee avec "Breton"), Miles Kingston, est morte, a ceci mardi.

Kingston ecriveree par Punch magazin pour la plus ans, producer un column allez, "Let's Parler Franglais!" avec pieces utiles comme, par example, un vendriere porte-a-porte qui dit, en assurance, "Je ne suis pas un nutter religieux." J'ai aprecie personnallement ces installments tres beauboups.

Don't be surprised if you hear that question a lot more often in the coming months. Rhode Island's premier manufacturer of Carcieri blankets has alerted us to the news that federal Medicare officials, looking to cut costs, have finally noticed an accounting irregularity here in Rhode Island. (Funny; you'd think they'd look here first for that kind of thing.)

I think The Don's been sucking on one of those pipes we featured recently.

Today's ProJo, in reporting a license suspension for a South Providence liquor store, mentions that, “By statute, it is a criminal offense for a liquor licensee to sell alcohol ‘to any intoxicated persons or to any person of notoriously intemperate habits.’”

The epithet, “Person of notoriously intemperate habits” grabbed my attention for two reasons. First, it's an accurate description of any given Agenda staff member. Secondly, it's another beautiful turn of phrase from our state law books, ranking up there with “abominable and detestable crime against nature” (which, fortunately for us, is no longer punishable—by the state of Rhode Island, at least—unless “any beast” is involved).

YouTube videographer "mobius32" submits this thoughtful documentary (18:08) of the history of the now-ubiquitous "Amen Break" that underlies nearly all early hip-hop and electronica, segueing into how this history exemplifies also the history of digital audio and the history of content control.

Forty-five percent of entering freshmen at Central High School reach their senior year, according to a new Johns Hopkins University study cited today by the Providence Journal's newsblog.

Forwarded from Laura Travis:

Please help us save the stone!

Matt Obert and Brooke Erin Goldstein are getting married, and you're invited to their engagement announcement party!