by Ted Rao
This marks the tenth appearance of I Am Providence in this paper. Thanks to everyone who has sent or continues to send questions, comments, or lists to iamprov@gmail.com.
I think I'll try a Narragansett. It's this rad new beer.
I don't have too much to write about this time around, but let's open by saying stay away from me, I don't want to hear your stupid crap, no I don't want to go to your party, no you aren't invited to mine, you'll be embarrassed by pictures of yourself in those legwarmers and with that haircut three years from now, and go back to New Jersey.
Or…welcome back, students!
On that note, here's some recently overheard snippets of conversations by the various little nips:
"Hey Shelly, see that boy over there? He's hot."
"
Yeah he is."
"I wonder what he does?"
"Well, I know he rides a bike."
"A
bike? Wow…"
"Yeah, and not just
any bike. It's a
recycled bike."
(Collective swooning)
"I don't get it. They're all in their thirties, and they play
kickball?"
"I think I'll try a Narragansett. It's this rad new beer."
"So those are the Daggers, huh? Funny, they don't look tough…."
And that's just this week.
So what was up with that fight between the state rep and the Carcieri aide in Patrick's Pub a couple of months ago that never got prosecuted? - Kevin Cafferty
Recently, Rep. Tim Williamson (D-Warwick) started a beef with Carcieri staffer Michael Cronan at Patrick's Pub on Smith Street, where many legislators and Capitol employees sought refuge following an evacuation of the Capitol Building resulting from a false bomb threat. Reportedly, Williamson (incidentally one of the most pro-casino members of the assembly) got in the Carcieri staffer's face when he went to get a beer for some friends, started a fight, and a melee of sorts ensued. No police report was filed, and no one was charged.
This amazes me, so let me repeat: following an evacuation of the State House due to a bomb scare, House Deputy Majority Leader Tim Williamson (D-West Warwick) manages to start a fistfight with a Carcieri staffer at a virtual clubhouse for the Rhode Island Democratic Party. Many claim to have seen the fight, and according to NBC 10, numerous witnesses say that Williamson put Cronan's head through a window. But here's the kicker: not one of the dozen State Senators or several Representatives in attendance saw anything? Not even the bartender?
This is ridiculous. While the governor's office claims that Williamson has apologized for the incident, Williamson calls it all a "vicious rumor," and says that nothing took place. Yeah, right. Could it be any more obvious that a high-ranking member of the R.I. House is being buttressed by his cronies, who are scared that they might fall into disfavor with the leadership for performing their civic duty? What if Cronan was seriously injured? What if it was you or me?
I am not a Republican by any means and do not support the governor. But as liberal as I may be, the hubris of the Democratic Party in this state at times makes me sick. Williamson should be ashamed of himself. And Rhode Islanders should be outraged, and ashamed at themselves for continuing to support such officials on the basis that it's "just how things are done here," rather than demanding the change that we all deserve.
Oh, and yes, I just copied a letter to the editor that I wrote to the Providence Journal that never got printed, and pasted it above.
On Hope Street, on the gate surrounding Brown Athletic Complex, there are plaques with different years posted in succession. However, the years are occasionally out of chronological order. Can you explain this? -Cindi Lavin
The years posted represent gifts (read: monetary donations) from that particular year's graduating class. Obviously, the fact that they're out of order means that different classes donated at different times. That's pretty much it.
Dear Tedward: What religion was Roger Williams? - Cubulous Roundalay
Williams, our nation's first and foremost exponent of the concept of total freedom with regard to the individual's religious conscience, served as pastor of the First Baptist Church in Providence, the oldest in the United States. Yet after which, he was said to have taken up the position of "Seeker," meaning one who is religiously independent, though he continued to preach. I know that's a vague answer, but I'm trying to mire you in various facts to cover up that I couldn't find out his exact denomination for sure. But I do think he was a hell of a forward-thinking guy.
I'm getting kind of tired of hearing the same bands mentioned over and over in everyone's top ten local bands list. That is becoming so six months ago. To keep things fresh, what are the five worst local bands in recent history? - Mark Clarkin
I would love for people to start writing in their five worst local bands ever. Here's mine:
5. Thee Mister Rogers Project (whom I actually liked, but for brevity's sake, let's just say they sucked).
4. The Moneyshots
3. Fess
2. Meat Depressed
1. Shotgun Flu
Oddly enough, I think a reunion show of these five crappy bands might draw, oh, twenty or thirty curious onlookers, transfixed with a sort of car-crash-like allure. Also, please note that I was in two of these bands.
I was wondering if you have any information regarding the demented-looking neon Mickey Mouse in the window of the Lovett and Lovett office at 358 Broadway. I can feel its burning eyes follow me as I walk down the street. -Your pal Cecily
Many people as old as me (i.e., pushing 30) who have spent a lifetime in R.I. remember the UHF show Lovett Talks Law, a call-in show offering free legal advice, hosted by the late attorney Raul Lovett. A sports car aficionado who drove an MG with a license plate that read "MMOUSE," Lovett was widely respected in the community (he had a sandwich named after him at Geoff's in the Seventies) and did indeed resemble a member of ZZ Top, as artinrunins.com pointed out. Just as there are Mickey Mouse neon signs in the window of the current Lovett & Lovett law offices where his children now practice, there were Mickey Mouse dolls and figurines on his desk on the show. Well why, you ask? Lovett was reportedly once told that his law firm would never amount more than a "Mickey Mouse" operation, meaning very small. Once it became a very large, successful firm, dealing mostly in personal injury, the neon Mickey Mouse went up. It's kind of ironic, considering he used Mickey Mouse to joke that he would always remain small-and yet really, Mickey Mouse symbolizes a huge, all-engulfing behemoth corporation. But…well, c'est la vie, not for nuthin'.
What's up with the "Not Sheldon" banner on the JKL Engineering building on Westminster Street? - Mike Brousseau
(Phone Ringing)
Woman on other line: Hello, JLK Engineering.
Providence: Hi, I was wondering about the "Not Sheldon" signs on your building?
Woman: Oh, you'll have to speak to the owner. Hold on please.
(pause)
Antonio Freitas, former FBI informant who helped take down Buddy Cianci /owner of JKL Engieering: Hello?
Providence: Hi, could you tell me about the "Not Sheldon" signs you have on your building?
Freitas (In a really thick Portuguese accent): Who are you?
Providence: My name's Ted.
He's a snake in the grass,
and he can't be trusted at all, so he shouldn't be Senator.
Feitas: Well why do you want to know? Who do you work for?
Providence: Umm, just interested; I live in the neighborhood.
Freitas: Where do you live?
Providence: On Westminster Street. Look, I'm not with the Whitehouse campaign or anything, and I'm not a journalist (note: well really, I'm not).
Freitas: Well if you were I'd tell you to come down here so I could talk to you personally about it!
Providence: O…kay?
Freitas: Basically, the sign means what it means: Not Sheldon. He's a snake in the grass, and he can't be trusted at all, so he shouldn't be Senator.
Providence: I see. Why do you feel that way?
Freitas: 'Cuz he's a snake in the grass! Know what I mean? He used to leak information to Buddy all the time! When the FBI was investigating him!
Providence: Really? I had no idea.
Freitas: You better believe it, he's a snake in the grass! You know what a snake in the grass is?
Providence: Yeah, I think so.
Freitas: Well, that's him, that's what he is.
Providence: It's funny you say that, 'cuz I know a woman who's worked in the Attorney General's office for like twenty years and she said that Sheldon was the most honest, hardworking Attorney General she'd ever served under.
Freitas: Well, different people say a lot of things. Someone can be nice to you to your face, but that doesn't mean that they're that way when your back is turned.
Providence: It's true.
Freitas: That's right. So that's why the signs are there.
Providence: Well, it's nice to talk to you, Mr. Freitas. You're a local celebrity, you know.
Freitas: (laughs) No, I'm not.
Providence: Well, I think so. Thanks again; maybe I'll come by some day and talk to you personally.
Freita: Sure, any time.
Providence: OK, bye-bye.
Freitas: Take care.
Well! How about that?
What's the name of the kickball field and what's the name of the school it's next to? And also the church that's right there? I should probably know at least one of these things but I figured you would know all. Because well, you're a know-it-all. - Ant Freeman
The name of the Catholic Church is Saint Mary's. The parish was established in 1853, but it was originally a wooden church located on Barton Street one block over, a little further down from the corner. The first pastor was Father John Quinn. But after about ten years the church was deemed too small, and in 1869 the new St. Mary's was christened. Interesting note: Father John Quinn is actually buried in the front of the new church, by the front entrance.
The field, which serves as the playing ground for both the Providence Kickball League and the Providence Charity Baseball League (Go Decatur Decapitators!) is known as Aldo Freda Park. Freda was a longtime community activist in the Federal Hill Neighborhood. It was not built in conjunction with the church, but rather with the Bridgham Middle School around thirty or forty years ago, under the oversight of the parks department.
Where is Cuban Revolution moving when the building comes down? - Liam Gray
The Satin Doll—a store known statewide for its fine handwoven satin dolls for little children.
It's moving across the street and down the alley a bit to Aborn Street, right across from the Satin Doll (a store known statewide for its fine handwoven satin dolls for little children). The move is scheduled for around October. Good for them that they can still catch the spillover business from the thousands upon thousands of people that are sure to use that new Sierra Suites extended stay hotel, no? I love progress.
Is Smith Street New York System REALLY the first NY System? - Jon Wisehart
That is correct. Smith Street was opened by Ernie Pappas in the year 1927, and it remains in the Pappas family to this day. The Olneyville System, located at 20 Plainfield Street, was started by the Stevens family, who opened that location in 1953 after having had a small restaurant at 8 Olneyville Square since the 1930s that served wieners and lunch items. A second Olneyville System was opened on Reservoir Avenue in Cranston in 1981. So yes, Smith Street is the ORIGINAL New York System. But I still think Olneyville's the better one, even though the price of their wieners just jumped up to $1.75 a piece, while Smith Street's hold steady at $1.25. My father remembers when they were fifteen cents, around the time he ate twenty-two on a bet.
Were there any race riots in Providence during the 1960s? - Keith
Yes, but none as major as, say, the Watts riots in Los Angeles in 1965. Basically, in the wake of widespread racial riots during the 1960s, black neighborhoods in Providence erupted in 1966, '67, and '68, but no one was killed or seriously hurt and little property damage occurred. The worst came in 1967, when 175 police officers were needed to disperse a rock-throwing mob at the Willard Avenue Shopping Center in South Providence. Mayor Joe Doorley imposed a curfew in South Providence that was lifted two days later. Robert Patterson, a police lieutenant at the time, claimed that the unrest was largely the fault of "young white punks."
Thanks again. Be sure to come to our shows at the Living Room on Friday and Saturday, September 15th and 16th!
