by Matt Obert
This is an interview with Peter Gabriel and Phil Collins of The Internet.
Peter: From The Internet. Not “of the.” Do you want us to say our names?
Sure, why don’t you start out by introducing yourselves?
Peter: I’m Peter Gabriel.
Phil: And I’m Phil Collins.
Peter: Aaron Shoon couldn’t be here.
Phil: He is out of the band, as far as I’m concerned.
Wait, who is out of the band?Phil: Our fashion consultant.
Peter: He ain’t doin’ shit, obviously. Right? Look at this!
Phil: He’s wearing a women’s sweatshirt!
It says “HNATIW” on it. That’s impossible to pronounce.
Peter: How do you say that?
This is great. We’re going to edit it down, and it’s all going to make sense.“Na-choo!” It’s like a sneeze. So, when did you create The Internet?
Peter: When The Internet began, at that time we lived at One Citizens Plaza in Providence, right over there by the river, on the seventeenth floor. There weren’t a lot of people in the building at that time.
Phil: There were some old copiers that had fallen over, and a lot of office paper scattered around.
Peter: It was anyone’s game, really. So we kind of set up shop in there.
Phil: I think, actually, that you spotted that there was nobody in there anymore.
Peter: I think it was way back in, like, 2032 or something.
Phil: I think it was a couple years before that.
Peter: It was a long time ago.
Why don’t more people know about The Internet?
Peter: Well, most of them have been killed.
But isn’t it hard to find information about “The Internet” online? I mean, I was just searching. I used “the google.” I couldn’t find anything about you.
Phil: It’s more that it’s hard to find “the google” these days.
Peter: Usually, myspace.com/internet is a good place to find information about us. Or theinternettheband.com.
Phil: It’s true that if you search for “Internet” on the Internet, you’ll get a lot of hits.
Peter: Or here’s the thing: if you’re in Providence, go to One Citizens Plaza. There’s, like, a back stairwell. Stairwell D. Just bang right on that.
Phil: Well, you have to bang the right way.
Peter: It’s three, and then three. Then we’ll know.
A secret knock?
Peter: Well, yeah, ’cause people try to get in and steal your stuff.
Do you think The Internet should be available to everyone?
Phil: Yes.
Peter: Oh, yeah. Whoever’s left.
How can people access The Internet?
Peter: Well, you could—I mean, there’s that stair—Stairwell D. Honestly, the best way is if you see, like, an old burnt-out car, or something, sometimes you’ll find an old tower in the trunk.
Phil: Especially if it’s an old cop car. They usually have computers.
Peter: Right. You might have to do a little bit of soldering or electrical work. And then just plug it in wherever we can find you.
How does The Internet work? What protocol do you follow?
Phil: The way it usually works is that we kind of start walking up and down in Stairwell D, and we start talking—
Peter: Sometimes right in Kennedy Plaza, you know?
Phil: And we talk—
Right, because it’s so vacant now.
Peter: Sometimes a piece of trash will just blow through—
Phil: Right, we talk about the good old days.
Peter: —like an old newspaper or a magazine or something will just kind of plaster around on your leg, and you’ll just take it from there. That’s how we wrote “Cave Art.”
Phil: There’s also the whole game of “Kick the Scrap Metal.”
Peter: Which never gets tired. Never.
Phil: Sometimes that’s where we get our inspiration for some of the percussion.
Peter: That’s true. You know when you’re throwing an old chassis right into the canal?
Phil: It has some really resonant qualities.
Peter: How is this going, by the way?
This is great. We’re going to edit it down, and it’s all going to make sense. So, what is your opinion of peer-to-peer (P2P) file-sharing networks?
Peter: What is that? That sounds like some real twentieth-century shit. Man, that takes me back.
I’ve been hearing a lot about the “backbone” of The Internet. What is that?
Peter: I don’t know what you mean by that.
Well, you know. The “backbone” of The Internet. [laughter]
Peter: Can you clarify? Can you use another word? Or just say “backbone” with more, you know, air quotes?
Well, yeah, I thought, you know, that it was funnier that way.
Peter: Maybe if you put the emphasis on the other word, or something.
Okay. The back-BONE. Can you tell us about the back-BONE?
Peter: This is the worst interview ever. [pause] Actually, this is the first interview ever.
Right, of course it is the first in this sort of post-apocalyptic society.
Phil: Well, I really like that old band from the twentieth century, the Soul Sonic Force. And Peter really likes Front 242. I would say that some of the romance between Phil Collins and Peter Gabriel started back in the early days in the band Genesis.
So that was really the genesis of The Internet?
Peter: Yes. When we were recording The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway. We knew then and there.
Those longing looks across the drum kit.
Phil: Just between two Englishmen.
Peter: I’m not gonna lie. Phil was a little perturbed when I came out with “Solsbury Hill.” He was like, “Why’d you say all that shit about us? You know, we work on this band for years, and then you do this—
Phil: He calls me a sell-out!
Peter: But it’s all water under the bridge. [pause] You can just end this any time.
As long as you’re burning some shit, you’re warm. Even if it’s toxic.What do you think of ISPs who block SMTP traffic on Port 25?
Peter: We’re actually pretty divided about that. Phil is not into it, but I like it.
Phil: It’s a nuisance. I’m not a spammer.
How does TCP/IP packet scheduling affect The Internet’s quality of service, and do you prefer the “Leaky Bucket” algorithm or the “Hierarchical Token Bucket” algorithm?
Peter: Definitely “Hierarchical Token Bucket.” Absolutely. That’s what I use myself. Sometimes on the sixteenth floor at One Citizens Plaza, there will be some heated debate on that topic, but usually we will go with the “Hierarchical Token Bucket.”
Phil: I don’t know—I guess it seems like all this stuff seemed important at one point, and now it’s like “Where are we going to get our next meal?”
Peter: As long as you’re burning some shit, you’re warm. You know what I mean? Even if it’s toxic. Whatever! Fax machines, shoes—
Phil: Even if it’s old computers, and it’s giving off toxic gases. Burning tires can be really bad for you, too.
Peter: Old CDs by Front 242, or whatever.
They don’t burn too well.
Peter: Yeah, but, fuck ’em! It’s cold in Providence. It’s icy.
Phil: It does get cold up here. Remember when we saw that old gondola floating upside-down?
Peter: That was poignant. It reminded me of WaterFire.
And the river has actually been on fire recently.
Peter: For about two years, it didn’t stop burning. We wrote a song about that, actually.
Phil: Which song?
Peter: About the river and the fire. It’s going to be on our next album.
Phil: We call it “FireWater.”
Peter: Do you have any more questions?
No, I think we’re done. It’s cool. We’re gonna pull this together.
Peter: I think so, too.
