The Agenda

A Companion Primer for Summering Smooth with Swagger

A special to The Agenda by Jay-Z

[Note: This article originally appeared in The Agenda #18]

What's good, family? It's your boy, H-to-the-Izzo. I ran into my man P Breezy at Martha Stewart's annual spring key party in Southampton, and he put me on to his plans for THE SUMMER OF SMOOTH©. Since I "retired" from the game (You call running Def Jam Records retirement?), I've had a lot of time to enjoy the smoother side of life, but you know Young Hova needs to flip it with a little more flavor than your average man. When you see me and Beyonce (Holla at your boy, B!) roll up in the Maybach, stepping out looking immaculate, you know shit is on and popping. It ain't just smooth-it's smoove.

A special to the agenda by Preston Ozymandias Bradthird the Third, outside consultant on all matters smooth and awesome

[Note: This article first appeared in The Agenda #18]

I just stepped out onto my veranda. I just opened my
one-of-a-kind, platinum G4 PowerBook. I just had Derwood mix me a fantastic gin
and tonic, with a gin so good that the bottle promises at least three Croatian
juniper farmers died in the production process, per bottle, while
safeguarding their crops from Slobodan Milosevic's ethnic cleansers. And I'll
tell you, it might have been borne of bloodshed, but you spritz that shit up
with a squirt of lime, and you will instantly be swept into the easy, breezy,
summer spirit of sailing and self-indulgence.

By Dan Voknine

[Note: This article first appeared in The Agenda #18]

This is a manual method of screen printing that requires no special
equipment or tools. It does require some drawing or tracing ability however.
The advantage of this method over typical screen printing is that this screen
is permanent and reusable. This particular project is focused on printing to a shirt.

My Long Overdue “Enough is Enough” Response to the Modern Horror Flick in “How-To” Form

by Evan Villari

[Note: This article first appeared in Agenda #18]

Much like all the other forms of popular entertainment, the moving picture industry has once again created a market where the mindless can assemble, shell out, and forget what they just saw until the next one's release.

Note: This letter from a concerned Providentian appeared in The Agenda #18.

Dear “The Cheesecake Factory,”

Approximately one year ago I went to your restaurant to enjoy a nice meal with my girlfriend. She had been given a gift certificate and was excited to take me out for a change. I was intrigued by many of the pastas you had on your menu, but because of dietary restrictions, I was forced to ask a specific question. This question, it turns out, has only one answer at “the Cheesecake Factory”: Yes, I’m afraid so.

It's New! It's Yours!

by Jean Cozzens

During the month of March 2006, at the Fox Point Branch of the Providence Public Library, we built a giant cardboard city as a collaboration between a whole bunch of people, ranging in age from two through grandmother age. The outcome of the experiment was entirely unknown: introduce a bunch of scrap cardboard, hot glue, “conventional” glue, scissors and X-acto knives and duct tape, and boxes and boxes of fabric, junk, and random materials from the Recycling Center into a branch library that regularly serves as the vital after school hangout spot for kids from the Vartan Gregorian Elementary School down the street—with one local artist/designer as mediator, and three willing librarians as facilitators and cheering squad.

How To Have A Riot: A True Tale of RISD and Brown Students Gone Wild!

by Alex Lukas

“Who expected Rhode Island School of Design and Brown University students, my god, you think they’d teach them a little more than that for the $25,000 in tuition they pay. You think they’d teach them a little more than to go to a pagan ritual and light a fire in a tunnel.”

Buddy Cianci, Mayor of Providence, May 2nd, 1993.

The RISD Tunnel is a setting for innumerable stories, a lot of rumors, and a few legends; any number of which, in all three categories, are pure bullshit. Rumors fly anytime there are shadows, and if there is one thing the Tunnel has a lot of, it’s pitch-black darkness. Talk of vampires, secret passages, giant rats, hidden entrances in East Side backyards and compromises to the structural city above are commonplace amongst those who talk of “the hole under Providence.” Both ends of the tunnel are sealed tight today (if anyone feels qualified to write a “How to Open a Door That’s Been Welded Shut” article, holla), trapping inside what was left of countless adventures, leaving us with only our memories. Everyone who has ever been there has their own, and for a certain generation, the very mention of the tunnel brings up one legendary story: the Riot.

Eight Mouth-Watering Ways to Change the World by Shopping at a Farmers’ Market!

by Gilligan Warmer

1. Help your neighbor:
   When you buy food from a farmers’ market, you directly support a farm family. Of course, if you buy from an Uber-Market or the Wal-Mart Super Center, you are supporting a farm family too.